What Are They Feeding Us?

2-min read

Oh boy.

I opened the SCT Mailbag this morning, and sitting right at the top, doing that little “come here” finger curl, was an email from Nico G in Dortmund.

Nico asks:

“Thoughts on the latest Mortal Kombat II movie?”

I knew straight away this wasn’t going to be a good day.

When someone asks for your “thoughts” on Mortal Kombat II (MK2), what they really mean is:

“My guy, please try to convince me it was actually a good movie.”

Sorry, Nico, but I just didn’t feel this one.

If you were expecting something different, or you’re a fanboy, then look away now.

I thought it was a tough watch. Bad CGI, very little character development, and everything felt rushed.

But Nico, maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way.

I mean, it’s a fan-service movie, and it’s packed with everything the fans wanted, right? So the diehards will probably love it. If you go in with very low expectations, you might even enjoy it.

The movie runs for 116 minutes.

I was ready to bail after 20.

Just to be clear, I’m not blaming the actors or the crew. They did what they could. The issue is the people above them—the studio heads and executives who can’t stop meddling long enough to let a movie breathe.

Hollywood executives keep treating movies like spreadsheets instead of stories.

But no more rambling from me. You deserve better.

Let Him Cook

While I was trying to make sense of MK2, I kept thinking about Sébastien Bras, the famous French chef.

A few years ago, he asked Michelin to remove his restaurant from its guide because he wanted to cook like a normal person again. He wanted to cook with a free spirit, with authenticity and without the pressure of critics breathing down his neck.

Imagine if the people making MK2 had experienced the same moment of clarity and stepped back for a second.

“We don’t need to chase every franchise expectation. Let’s just make something honest.”

Instead, MK2 feels like it was made in the loudest kitchen on earth, with studio heads shouting and executives meddling while everyone else tried to get on with it.

What’s the saying?

Too many cooks spoil the broth.

But Nico, you’re probably thinking:

“Okay, wise guy. Name me one franchise that succeeded by not pretending to be something it wasn’t.”

Well, Nico, because you seem like a good guy—and because you’re from a city that plays wonderful attacking football—I’ll give you two:

Creed.

Logan.

Both were part of big franchises with hardcore fan bases. They stopped trying to throw the whole franchise onto the screen and focused on smaller, more honest stories built around actual characters.

They felt human first and franchise second.

See, Nico? It’s possible. You just need someone brave enough to say no.

Dortmund fans should understand that. Remember 2005, when the club nearly went under trying to keep up with Europe’s big boys? At some point, somebody has to say, “Enough.” MK2 had the blueprint. Nobody said no.

A Plate of Nonsense

There’s this sense that the people in charge think audiences will settle for any nonsense as long as it’s packaged with enough CGI and familiar names.

MK2 feels like it was made by executives who believe fans don’t care about story or craft. Just noise.

It’s the cinematic equivalent of being handed a plate and told:

“Don’t ask what’s in it. Just be grateful and eat, okay?”

Sébastien Bras walked away from all that pressure so he could cook without the noise. No committee hovering over the pot. Just a man wanting to make food that tasted like something.

MK2 feels like the opposite: a movie cooked by twenty people who all insisted on adding their own ingredient, then shrugged and served it anyway.

Bras chose honesty.

MK2 chose nonsense and hoped we wouldn’t notice, which is bold, Nico.

I’ll give them that.

Final Judgment

If you want a full play-by-play review, there are entire websites dedicated to that.

Here in the Mailbag, we’re just here to pass judgment, point at the nonsense and decide whether the movie belongs in the “why did I watch this?” category.

This one does.

We’re sending it straight back to the kitchen.